Samoan Life, Aussie Wife

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Hay guys ! Hope you have all been well. I’ve been on a mission to find what it is that my viewers want to read and/or hear about. So if you have any requests, like, subscribe, follow me and most importantly comment below and give me some suggestions or feedback. I would really appreciate it. X

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(Source: IKON productions, honestly awesome, professional people)

Okayyyyyyy, so it has been requested (by many) that I talk about what it is like to marry into a Samoan family. Ha ha oh boy…

Now I say marry into a Samoan “family” as that’s exactly what you do, you marry the mum, the dad, the siblings, the nieces, nephews, the church and the rice cooker haha.

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No, but in all seriousness this is a subject that is so requested but is so hard to talk about for me because, just like politics and religion, cultural differences cause quite the ruckus.

In simple terms, it’s Hard!
If you asked probably 80% of the population who have married an islander in general, that are not of islander background themselves, I’m probably 99.9% sure they’d say it’s not easy. At some point it has been difficult, and don’t lie, honesty is key guys!

Now just to clear this up, just because I said it is hard, does not mean that I do not love being married to my husband. NO, I love him honestly more than I could ever explain. When he’s not being angry, snoring or complaining constantly about my driving, or being tired and hungry.

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(Photo cred: @chris_faauma3)

But look, I’m pretty sure all husband’s/boyfriends/girlfriends/life partners have some sort of flaw/s. If you were truly honest with yourself you would understand that you do too. No body is perfect right?

Anyway… getting back on track, I love my husband, I think you get it. Haha.
I feel I need to break this down, not only for the non-samoans, such as myself but for those who can probably relate.

What is it like to be married to a Samoan?

THE SAMOAN WAY (fa’a samoa)
Is always the right way. Haha!  you’ve all heard the saying “my way or the highway” yep well the comparison is “my way” = Samoan way and “the highway” = the palagi (white people) way, or in other words you’re just wrong. Lol!

People have often actually asked me how I survive, like I have written an ‘incase of emergency/non-Samoan guide to survival’ pamphlet lol.

Look, I learnt the hard way, but to be fair, the most efficient way, regarding Samoan language and simple fa’a samoa things. Being yelled at. Honestly don’t laugh, but if you do something wrong, especially when it’s something important, you can rely on an islander to point it out hahaha.

In saying that, they want you to learn fast and are very persistent and passionate with teaching and sharing the Samoan way of life.

MOTHERS
Okay… As a rule of thumb. If you marry an island man, do not, I repeat DO NOT! Get on the mum’s bad side. She is the backbone of the family, the dad may think he is but honestly… just… no.
She has the power to bring down some hefty wrath lol.

I do love my mother in law, My husband is her firstborn so the pressure is real!

FATHER’S
Well, although they’re quite strict, they’re usually the more understanding and laid back. UNLESS … you really f****d some shit up. Or … the mother’s wrath becomes what I like to call ‘one band, one sound’ now this is where mum and dad team up to shut you down. Game over !!
Good cop, bad cop gone wrong lmao.
It does happen, but they are great parents, with strong values, beliefs and a real strong purpose and honestly want the best for their children. They just want their children to grow up respecting their culture and all that comes with it.

ENTERTAINMENT
Being funny and having a talent (singing, dancing, instrument, sports) is almost as important as having a limb. I am yet to come across a Samoan, or islander for that matter, who does not make jokes every hour of every day. Or one that has no talent.
My husband is the biggest clown, he is constantly joking. Which is funny for everyone else, but means difficult conversations between us never get resolved. He’s always chasing the joke and it makes me look like a nag because I probably take life a little too seriously now. On short he jokes enough for the both of us for a lifetime, all in one day.

Check out the Laughing Samoans and watch their videos on YouTube. It proves my point about Samoan’s and comedy. #hilarious

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(source: Pinterest / Laughing Samoans)

Okay moving on…

GENEROSITY
ok a biggie! Samoan’s are very generous. Sometimes as an outsider you would think probably 90% more generous than they should be, as sometimes the generosity causes more issues.

But… a wise Pastor recently told me she spent 10 years fighting with her Samoan husband about cultural things she did not agree with. What she got out of it was nothing! Now she just prays and leaves her anger and confusion in God’s hands. It makes things easier that way.
I sure as hell don’t wanna argue with Mefi any longer than I have to. So he earns his money and spends his money as he likes, as long as there is nappies and formula for the kids. I’m not a joint account kind of wife. I need some space and some independence.
If I can’t pee on my own, I’d like to have something that’s just mine.

If you are one of those wives that hold the man’s card and money and he can’t even have like 5c. There’s something wrong with you! I don’t get it honestly, why does one person have to wear the pants?
There’s two pant legs guys. Don’t be greedy. Haha

Now this is a touchy subject because ‘giving’ is a big Samoan tradition. So although I disagree with a lot of it, my opinion doesn’t really matter lol. It’s tradition! My job is to support… as long as it’s coming out of his pay right girlssss? Haha whatta selfish dude lol.
*got chu babe* lol

CHURCH
Whether they like it or not, they gotta go. You might as well start accepting it.
Could you imagine being like a 10 year old Samoan kid being like “nah, I ain’t going to church.” Now Samoans are all about that church life and making sure everybody know they holy. If your kid not at church, everyone’s gotta know why.
Honestly you could be 21 and still get the best beat down haha.
It’s… about… to… go…Down!

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(Source: YouTube)

Lucky I’m already a Christian, so this part, although there are a lot of duties in a Samoan church, was a bit easier for me because the fundamentals and the foundation of basic Christianity was already there.

(Disclaimer: I’m not a perfect Christian!)

CHILDREN
Let’s just say when I first met Mefi’s family nearly 8 years ago it was weird. I’m an only child, I enjoy my privacy, my underwear being where I left them, and my shoes not being worn. lol Mefi has 8 siblings, eighttt! but I find that so many people make a big deal about having a big family, but to be honest when it’s going good, having a big family is the best! Christmas is awesome. It’s hard but sometimes having a big family is more exciting then sitting by yourself.
It doesn’t matter if you have one baby or 56 babies, it’s our own choice and you can be black, white, yellow, Korean Jesus … whatever it doesn’t matter stop judging people by the amount of children they have. Maybe they just love sex. Haha hahaha sorry.

Look there are so many topics (food, chores…) and I could honestly go on forever. But, my advice would be push your partner to achieve more. Preferably, before having children, so they create a good life for themselves first and learn to live and learn on their own first.
If they don’t, the journey can get rough!

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Well that’s my little sneak peak into being married to a Samoan.
Hope you enjoyed it.

Remember to like, comment, subscribe, share.

Love you all
x C

by Carmen xo

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Published by Twogifted

I am a mum of three and wife to one. This is my blog that allows you to see into my life and all that goes on within it.

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27 Comments

  1. Carmen your so funny, good point. You are doing great with your in laws. So Proud of you. Well done n keep it up. Much love to u both n your babies.❀️😍

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    1. aw thankyou for your support and lol thankyou I hope I am after all this time hahaha. hope you guys are well. hopefully get to see you guys again soon. love to you guys ❀

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  2. Awww this is awesome hun. Such a well written piece, insightful, relatable, funny and alot of mmHmmm moments hahaha.
    You’re very articulate which made reading this all the more enjoyable for me. Good on you babe, this is fantastic!!! Cannot wait to read your next one ☺☺☺ xoxoxoz

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg thank you so much, I’m so blown away with everyone’s comments and support it’s crazy. Thank you for giving me some “white girl” feedback and actually getting into detail I honestly appreciate it more than you could ever know. Thank you so much. Now I gotta figure out how I can top this haha xoxox

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      1. Hahaha whenever u need to compare notes, just let me know πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ mefi is very lucky to have you as a wife! A wife will make a million more sacrafices than her samoan husband will ever make haha. it is what it is. But through moments of temporary frustration and anguish haha love prevails ☺☺ Keep those creative juices flowing girly!!! Your blog is going to be huge soon!!

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      2. Omg, I’m deffs gonna need to compare notes with you along the way πŸ˜‰ you just get it! Definitely a lot of sacrifices to be had haha but when there’s love there’s LOVE. It’s blowing my mind at the moment haha hope I can think of more things to say. Feeling the pressure πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ

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  3. Wow this is awesome!! From a Palagis point of view and its TRUE!!! You are lucky to be part of a beautiful Samoan Family, i love your Mother In Law and she use to tell me off at strawberry picking LOL Your right Dont Mess with her πŸ˜‰ now we friends LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hay lovely, not as yet, my blog is basically about my life so anything from being married to a Samoan to tips and tricks of the trade of areas I am interested like fashion 😊 but most deffs subscribe and if I post anything it will let you know automatically just incase I forget to let you when I post next 😊 xo thanks for reading and commenting, Feeling the love hard out xoxo

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  4. Loved this! As a Samoan I have to admit opening this I was like “uh oh” (in a negative way) but I read it and I can say; as a Samoan I appreciate the respect you have for your husband and the culture he was raised in.. Being a Samoan can honestly be hard when you want to or are trying to know/learn the Faasamoa way/Aganuu/Language/Lauga language.. all that jazz lol cos you know how they want to be difficult and metophorical when they Lauga lol. I loved reading this because I could feel the frustration and love you have for your husband..and ultimately that’s what it comes down to.. Faasamoa is love, family, giving etc.. It’s the blessings you may not see straight away in yourself (or your finances hahaha), but will definitely see in the lives of your children as they grow.
    Ia alofa Le Atua e saga faaopopo ni faamanuiaga tele mo le lua aiga auā le lumana’i o nai ou fanau.
    Looking forward to the next chapter πŸ˜‰β˜ΊοΈ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you soooo much for your honesty, honestly I have been waiting for someone from the Samoan side to read this and discuss this, and their opinions based on what I wrote. I know most Samoans would be hesitant to read this because I’m white and a lot of us bad mouth the culture because it’s different, and vice versa. Thank you for understanding where I was coming from and for sending blessings our way. Unfortunately I’m not the greatest at writing Samoan but I understand and can not thank you enough and I pray God truly blesses you and reigns his blessings upon you and your family tenfold. Your comment made my night xo God bless you

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    1. 😘😘😘😘 thanks beautiful. Lol too blessed πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‹ thank you for the support, glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚ xoxox love you guys

      Like

  5. πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½
    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    #truestory
    Thanks for the read, I must be Palagi too cos I agree with you hahaha… and Im looking forward to the blog about your husbands bad habits πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œπŸ˜βœŒπŸ½οΈ

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Beautiful..I love your article and last not least is having enough children about five or six will bring a lot of experiences to your parental life as well as when they growing up they will help each others in any way.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ohhh wow!
    What a pleasant read,loved it!!
    I am of Pacific Islander decent ,raised with no culture values but a lot of loving family values,don’t get me wrong there but brought up,what people would call the “plastic way” haha,so I can relate to your frustration in some
    Aspects,however I never agreed on most samoan culture things,which was half the reason it ended after 7years and 2children later on bad terms,lol am currently dating a tongan and one thing I can say,both samoans and Tongans have the same culture values,mothers rule the roost and fathers lay back,I have a strong personality and am strong in whatever I say and will back me too the core till day light comes again haha,if I don’t see the purpose I will agree to disagree,haha..but I loved reading your insite and the similarities I have with you,even though I am islander…keep up the great work,I am excited for what’s Instore on your next blog! Go girl.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw thanks girl, I appreciate the support and glad you can relate haha it’s crazy sometimes, but honestly what isn’t these days haha. Sorry to hear about the 7years and 2kids later part but glad you’ve got someone new and it’s all working out πŸ™‚ God bless you guys x ps people opinions about what they think you are don’t matter, you’re not plastic x

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  8. i love your honesty…Thank you πŸ™‚ Reading this made me smile

    love conquers all xo

    Like

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